|  Mark Edward  |
This Article is Related Reading for Podcast EP7

2020.

The craziest year.  

 

I’ve invested 37 years helping guys “remove masks.”  Now – they’re back!

Social distancing, 6 feet apart, safer at home, in this together, self-quarantine, asymptomatic… #wearthedamnmask…

Did we even know these phrases in January of 2020?

Back at Christmas, would we have imagined coffee-shop-selfies like one this?

Racial Reconciliation.  Inflammatory Politics.  Awakening to the reality of white privilege. 

The longing – not simply for equality – but equity and justice as a person of color.

So much to process.

Young men tell me regularly – they are tired – they don’t feel rested.  Or they don’t take enough time to fully rest.  

They don’t have down time.  No healthy unplugged de-stressors.

(Stock Free Images)

Unplugged?

Yes – with the power button OFF.

Healthy?

Because, well –  Amazon spending binges, porning out, excessive alcohol or drugs – in the attempt to cope…

Clicked “Read More?”  CONTINUE HERE:

…wouldn’t’ be the healthiest.

Sabbath.

A Sabbath?

Taking an actual full day for rest.  What?

“Mark!  Ain’t no time for that!”  

Anna Maria Island
One of my Favorite Places to Anchor

Rest

Many of you feel overwhelmed.

So, I don’t want to be another Talking Head in your Day.  A MEH.

As a mentor and friend, I want our conversations to be a place of peace, freedom, and solace for you.

Rest doesn’t mean lying around all day.  Rest can be different things to different guys.

Today, I’d like to interact with you for a minute about “Anchors.”

Anchors Lead to Rest.

Understanding Nautical Anchors

Living a few blocks from the sea, I enjoy watching sail boats, yachts, and huge commercial ships.

I’ve been thinking about their anchors and what holds them in place in the bay when they are at rest.

 

There are many things that can make a boat drift while it’s on the water such as current, tide and wind  — so it is vital that you have something in place to keep you still.¹

Anchors come in many varieties, shapes, sizes, weights, and costs.

The key is finding an anchor that works for the size of your vessel and the type of water in which you need to anchor – a lake, an ocean, or a river.

Size of your vessel.  There.  You were thinking it, so go ahead – laugh with me.

Anyway, you keep the anchor with you – available for use –  as soon as you need it.

Chris Rudolph

“The Chrises”

“The Chrises” as Jamie calls them – Christopher Michael Rudolph, in my Circle since 2008, and, Christopher Marichal, since 2015 – had separate conversations with me last month about how we are dealing with the stresses of COVID and racial inequity.

The term “Anchors” came up in both conversations.

Others of you have shared what your Anchors are and, in a minute, I’ll include those in this post.

Chris Marichal

Why Anchors?

Anchors keep you in place.

Anchors keep you from drifting too far.

They hold you where you are suppose to be – even in The Storm.

With a well chosen anchor, you avoid waking up some place you shouldn’t be.

 

Anchors can be:

• healthy habits
• behaviors
• places
• rituals
• even relationships

… that bring you “back to center” during rough waters.

Many of you have told me that COVID-19 is the worst crisis you have ever experienced.

While indeed it has also been difficult for me, it is not the worst season of my middle-aged journey.

Seeing my youngest near death, the cancer survival battle of a different daughter, and losing my wife briefly, while she was drowning in her own grief, “rank” higher on my stress meter.

Yet, COVID has definitely felt bleak at times.

Today, a treasured friend and member of my Life Long Inner Circle said,

I experienced some weird COVID-blues-ish emotions last week. Typical to me, I didn’t really realize it until the blueness was nearly gone.

Ever not recognized your emotions – until they are almost gone?

The Path to RESToration

COVID or No COVID – for several years I have endeavored to:

• make specific times – daily
• and, take a full day – weekly

for downtime.

I drop down “An Anchor.”  Or Anchors.  And Rest.

 

Not in Any Order, Here Are a Few of my Anchors:

Journaling

(My 2018 Journal
Seaplane Basin Park)

(2019 Journal)

Playing Keys

Making Music has Been an Anchor for 53 years.

 

Hays, Kansas
January 2018

 

New Hampshire
October, 1984

Listening to Playlists

The right songs help evoke emotions that need released or cause me to examine life more deeply.

Driving to No Where

On the Road With Jose Jesus Romero
Listening to “Island Waves” 
By Jordan Mueller
Funny thing, we were actually in GA
(mentioned in this clip LOL)

Swimming Laps

Floating with my Ears Underwater

Weird right? It’s super quiet – can’t hear anything.

Since my learning style is auditory, and, I spend much of my day listening at work and in mentoring, the silence under water is restorative for me.

 

Listening to Nature

Sometimes, I do just the opposite. Instead of silence, I listen.  But listen to enjoy.  Not to respond.

At the pool this week, I heard:

Birds chirping, a car drive by, another car starting, a USAF KC-135 flying over the Islands descending to land at MacDill AFB, people laughing, the pool gate shutting, someone hammering on a roof, a small private plane flying over, the palms blowing in the wind, the buzz of a mosquito, the wack of my hand on my arm killing said mosquito.

 

Sitting on “My Bench” on The Jetty

Looking at Photos

Close family, friends, and My Circle.  Digital is fine, but holding paper photos from my photo boxes… even better.

Focusing on good times.

Fun Facts: I have family photos dating back to 1860.  Starting a box on ‘family cars’ ranging back to 1916.

1920:  My maternal grandmother, and her brother, Art, stand on the fenders of my great-grandfather’s 1916 Model T Ford in Baineville, Montana.
When she was 16, her parents both died six months apart.

 

The Word of God

– I’ll be real – with all the craziness, I find myself not studying as much right now…

As a preacher’s kid, I grew up with, and still love the community of a healthy Church.

In the 2020 climate – when forcibly and blatantly co-aligned with the current divisive political hotbed –  American Evangelicalism seems convoluted, harsh and far removed from Christ.

Our loyalty to Christ must always exceed our loyalty to politics.  I’ve refused to render to Caesar what belongs to God.

I have been deconstructing some – yes – and, to that end, I’ve been seeking simplicity.  Peace.  Anti-Division.

This summer, I am focusing on the Gospels.

Revisiting the words – and more so, the actions – of Jesus.

This August 16 marks 50 years that I’ve been walking with Christ.

I am rediscovering His words are not convoluted or harsh.  They are Simple Truth.  No hoops.  Uncomplicated.

Definitely an Anchor for me.

How did Jesus treat religious bigots, women, servants… his disciples?

His Circle included Matthew, a tax collector – who work for the government – and Simon, a zealot – who worked against the government.³   Interesting – they were friends and loved each other – in the same community.

How did Christ interact with large crowds, children – and – other races and nationalities?

The needy, the angry, the thoughtless?

TIP:  It’s not how much you read.

 

It’s what you get down into your Spirit.

Learn How to Build Word Anchors in your Life HERE.

 

Naps.

Short naps.

Some of the benefits of napping are¹:

• Relaxation
• Reduced fatigue
• Increased alertness
• Improved mood
• Improved performance, including quicker reaction time and better memory.

Learn More About the Benefits (and Potential Drawbacks) of Napping HERE.

Quality Time with my Woman

1989 – Tulsa

2020 – Palm Springs, CA

 

I love time with my adult children and their spouses too.

As an introvert, depending on the level of interaction, those times may be more interactive, playful, fun, and conversational.  Less restful. Yet, deeply refreshing to my soul.

In 2040, I look forward to hearing about the friendships you’ve nourished with your adult kids! 😃

TIP:  As they mature, allow them to choose their own path.  Resist control and don’t live vicariously through them.  Doing so is both manipulative and suffocating.

 

Riding my TREK Marlin 7

Alert! I Might Over Do it on the Bike Pics…

(Ballast Point in Bayshore Beautiful)

Middle Children are Like the
Cream of the Oreo
They Hold us Together

South West, Toward MacDill AFB

 

The TREK was a gift from this handsome dude, my son by marriage, Pablo Alberto Llamas Correa.

The Bayshore Seawall here was built in 1926, two years after the first lots began to sell on Davis Islands.

Chillin’ on the Channel

Tampa from the Seddon Channel

Where the Seddon and
Sparkman Channels Intersect

Mentoring

Yes… I sometimes reach out and check up on my dudes when things feel stormy.

An Anchor for 37 years.

Being vulnerable and hearing your authentic stories, modeling what healthy friendship can be, helping you Find Answers – – my connections with My Circle bring me back to Center.

Jose Jesus Romero
One of the Kindest Young Men
With Whom I’ve Ever Journeyed
The Jetty on D.I.

Nolan William Hammer
Biking near the
Riviera Drive Canal

---

And, Every Guy’s Favorite Anchor…

Paying Bills.

Nah!!  Sexual Release.

I suppose every dude would include “sexual release” – so I’m not even gonna call that one an Anchor.

It’s a given.

We all think about it.

We all need it.

Yet, sex can be fleeting; unpredictable, and sometimes unavailable.

And, while sexual release is one of the two most basic needs of the male species, I don’t know that it qualifies as an Anchor.

Motor Maintenance, maybe LOL 🤣🤣.

Anchor, no.

⚓ So.  What Are Your Anchors?

Here are a few responses I received:

Christopher Rudolph
On the Seddon Channel
(Wonder What Kind of Anchors
those Ships Have)

Journaling is probably my biggest and most effective anchor.

 

Playing keys and listening to music, time with close friends, and exercise.

 

Weird as it may sound, organizing and de-cluttering can be an anchor of sorts.

 

– Christopher Michael Rudolph
Husband, Entrepreneur, Business Owner, Musician, Mentor

(Chris, Journaling in Missouri)

Hmm.  “Organizing and de-cluttering.”

Dang. I do that too – but I didn’t have it on my list.

Christopher co-hosted Episode 5 with me.  He has been in My Circle since April of 2008.

---

MIcah Lee and Mark
January 2018

Recently I have been using the Dwell app.

 

It definitely helps bring peace hearing God’s Word read to me. I also enjoy some of my favorite worship songs and singing along with those – probably part of the anchor.

 

And… leave it up to a Kansan – but aside from the usual (time with family, kids, etc.) for downtime – I escape to some dirt track racing as well.

 

– Micah Lee
Husband, Father, Drummer, Hot Wheels Collector, Campus Pastor, Mentor

MIcah, his wife Noel, his children, and Mark

Micah has been in My Life Long Inner Circle since – um – 1977.

He is my only living blood brother.

---

Christopher Marichal

 

My Anchors are hanging with friends, listening to audio books, watching favorite TV shows.

 

Yet… the things that I turned to for downtime before COVID – some of those aren’t available now…

 

Face to face quality time with friends – social interactions.

 

I find myself isolating again (like I did in my past) because it feels like everyone is so distant. So preoccupied.

 

Feelings of loneliness and depression have come over me several times.

 

— Christopher Marichal
Psychologist, Musician

Chris and I have journeyed together since 2015.  We met weekly for 27 months after Jordan Daniel Mueller gave out my phone number.

 

---

Aaron Ammon and Megan

Rest for me is not “being idle.”

I like to be active.

 

I love reading.  I enjoy the Goodreads App.

 

In the future, my goal is to have a motorcycle, and new drums for down time.

 

I am in the process of learning what it really means to rest.  To take a sabbath.

 

-Aaron Jeffrey Ammon
Husband, Father, Realtor, Musician

I welcomed Aaron to my Circle, January 24, 2020.

We met via Mirazul Islam, who I met via Jordan Mueller, who I met via Devin Mueller, who I met because we played keys together way back in 2008.

Connections Matter.

So.

Which Harley does Aaron want??  Check out the details HERE.

“Aaron in 2022”

Defining Rest

Although it can include sleep, rest doesn’t mean you are horizontal all day.

Rest is something besides “work.”

So That Sabbath Thing

Depending on your faith, you may know that God rested a full day – and Jesus often withdrew for Anchors and Rest.

Your day off doesn’t have to be Sunday.

I am currently journeying with a 30 year old young man whose professional career requires him to work week-ends.  His sabbath is Tuesday.

So Anchors can be “active.”  But no work, studying, or messaging related to your career.

No Lists.

No Schedule.

Spontaneity.

Seriously, gentlemen, I don’t want to hear excuses about why you can’t do this.

 

I was Chief of Staff over 38 employees while raising 3 little girls.  I worked 50 or 60 hours weekly.

But, I faithfully observed a day of rest.

On that day, I didn’t set foot on The Campus.  That practice saved my health, my marriage, and my relationship with my children.

Although my children, as adults, have all shared, that – looking back – they wish we had still spent less time in “The Building.”

Can You Tell Which Day was my sabbath?

Elvis Has Left The Building

Ministers, Worship Leaders, Tech Guys…. Don’t fool yourself.

When you are on The Campus – when you are in – “The Building” – you don’t belong to your family.

Even if they are with you.

Nope.

You belong to The Sheep and Pastor Hipster that signs your paycheck.

In the 21st Century, now, more than ever, it’s multiple campuses and multiple services, multiple hats. That’s not bad – it just requires fierce prioritizing on your part.

Setting and honoring boundaries.

Ministry TIP:  More Services Does not Equal Higher Ministry.

Not long ago, I viewed an IG post where a minister seemed to brag about the number of campuses on which he was to preach that day.

And the number of services he had remaining –  along with a video of the Escalade in which he was being transported to said services by a chill armor bearer.

The caption was, “One Down. Three to Go!”

I felt a momentary pang for his family.  And his staff.

Hey, have the tithe of your life in that $100,000 Cadillac – but – with all of my heart, I hope he takes his bride and children on ice cream outings and long vacations in that Escalade.

With his cell phone(s) off.

Instagram has blurred the lines of humility and shines light upon our motives.  My own included.

Depart from Me. I never knew you.

I don’t wanna hear that.

Caregivers

So I will never forget my parenting years.  Life never seemed to slow down.

Dad Taxi.

I also know what it is like to care for a child who had a catastrophic illness, a dying parent, and a mate who needs extra care due to a muscular and nerve disorder.

We all have difficult situations in our lives.

All the more reason for Rest and Downtime.

All the more reason for Anchors.

What Day is Your Sabbath?