|  Mark Edward  |

 

“It’s time to serve an eviction notice to those who mistreat you, constantly accuse you.  Those who only need you around when they need something.”

—  KJ Pothier

I’ve served eviction notices to a small number of people in my life over the years.  

I am a much happier, significantly freer man, for it.

I have taught my children (and am still teaching the guys in my Circle) to do exactly the same when the situation calls. 

Some religious leaders have wrongly taught or implied that “Walking in Love” means you have to smile all the time and be “christianese nice” to everyone — because the love of God is inside us.

Indeed, the love of God is resident in our hearts.

That doesn’t mean we overlook someone’s toxic behavior or destructive motives.

Or dismiss their volatile anger by shrugging our shoulders and saying,  “Oh, they’re just ‘bold’ in the Lord.”

Until it was time for Jesus to give His life on the cross, more than once He slipped away from those who sought to destroy Him.

So they picked up stones to throw at him, but Jesus hid himself and went out of the temple.  – John 8:59

 

Again they tried to seize him, but he escaped their grasp. – John 10:39

When Jesus was a toddler, His parents did the same thing in Matthew 2.

Being warned by The Angel of the Lord, they fled to Egypt to keep Jesus from being killed like every other boy in Bethlehem, age 2 and under.

If Joseph had not obeyed the Angel of the Lord, Jesus may have died in Bethlehem as a toddler.  Would God have let that happen?

Why didn’t He just supernaturally “transport” Jesus to Egypt?

Nope.

Joseph had to listen.

Joseph had to obey to protect his son and the future Salvation of humanity.

Love forgives.

But forgiveness does not equal trust.

Trust is earned.

And not everyone earns it.

The God kind of Love is not weak.  It protects.  Sometimes it speaks up.  Loudly.

If someone fools you once, shame on them.

 

If someone fools you 10 times, you’re an idiot.

 

Stop letting manipulators walk all over you. Stop being a punching bag.

 

— I. Hankel

Be as wise as a snake and as harmless as a dove.

As you lead, let the God kind of love inside you be manifest by strategically employing both a rod and a staff.

Use the staff to gently nurture and hold close, those under your care.  Use the rod to protect, defend and correct.

Speak softly and carry a big stick. — Theodore Roosevelt

In 33 years of leadership and mentoring, I’ve learned some people don’t really want to help you.

They want to control you.

Some gain false self esteem, morbid gratification, and perceived power by dictating your life.

All the while smiling.

And sucking the life out of you.

At times, someone’s “concern” for you, is simply their obsessive desire to express their strong opinion.

Sometimes, it’s jealousy of your past successes or present successes —  with the secret hope that you’ll take a wrong turn, thereby  elevating them in their own narcissistic mind.

Toxic Work Relationships?

You don’t have to stay under that person.

You don’t have to stay at the company.

If you’ve tried repeatedly to resolve manipulative situations, and you’re still being used and abused, move up or move on.

 

Male Friendships Dictating Your Life?

Time to adjust the “friendship.”

Some friendships are for seasons.  A small few are for life.

Some were sent by our enemy to trip you up.

Would our enemy really do that?

He approached Jesus in the wilderness 3 times in an attempt to manipulate him and lead him into sin.

Why would you be exempt?

He can use people to get you off track.

Or send you backwards.

When friends insist on control, and it’s always gotta be their way or the highway — when they’re often unhappy and they withhold friendship from you until you cave.

End it.

You’ll never be good enough.

Lasting friendship is a give-and-take two way street, not a graded performance.

Dating Relationship Got You Caged?

Is your God-given freedom as man to lead your life and lead your future wife being strangled?

Address it.

If you think it’s a 60 year relationship, try to work it out.

If there’s continual strife, power playing, manipulation, and a desire by her to control all of your decisions to meet her personal happiness —

if she uses unusual and temporary “sweetness” to get her way —

end it.

Don’t Be This Guy.  Men Were Created to Pursue.

The more I mentor, the more I am shocked by number of young men who live in cages.

While I am on this soap box, I’m just gonna say it:

If you let your woman provide you sexual favors in exchange for her orchestrating her plan for your life, you are being dragged around by the balls.

Literally.

What is God’s Plan for your life?

If mama’s happy, everyone’s happy,” is an American misnomer.   If mama’s happy only when she gets her way, mama is spoiled.

 

 And her codependent man is a puppet dancing on eggshells.

 

Leave The Cage.

A woman is not designed to help you finish your foundation as a young male.  She may help you build upon the foundation once you are married.

But you must complete your own foundation as young man first.

Once you have that “knowing” that your foundation is complete, then, and only then, are you honestly prepared — and truly free — to pursue the woman of your dreams.

The woman who will enhance and help you fulfill your “Personal Legend” – instead of keeping you from it.

I don’t often recommend books.

But if you are single and trying to finish your foundation of manhood;  trying to find your destiny and purpose in life — you gotta read The Alchemist, by Paulo Coelho.  You gotta!