|  Mark Edward  |
This Article is Related Reading for Podcast Episode 10

One area in which many young men struggle is Self Care.  

Self Care can include healthy diet, exercise, downtime, getting enough rest (two big ones there), and personal grooming.  Looking and smelling your best.

“I don’t have time.”  “I’m too busy!”  “I don’t really know how…”

Wait.  “I don’t really know how?”

Yeah.

Self care behaviors are learned behaviors.

Of course, there’s always YouTube and TikTok – but self care is most harmoniously learned from Dad in our pre-teens and teens, another healthy mature dude, or close friend.

Problem is, many dad’s didn’t show up for those classes.

Clicked “Read More?”  CONTINUE HERE:

The Gap

It does break my soul, to learn those stories of young men describing to me how they missed out on being taught healthy self care rituals.

It is part of the transfer of masculinity that should happen by the end of high school.  But often doesn’t.

I can’t even begin to tell you the number of young men in many years of mentoring that – once trust was earned – I shared better techniques on personal hygiene, hair care, grooming, and shaving.

At the Mirror.

Together.

It is a gap in which many young men sheepishly feel a loss.

And they appreciate the advice.

I hope more men will be free to pass on  – NO – will make time to pass on the rituals of masculinity, self care, and grooming, to the next generations.

That’s Where My Friend Christopher Kyle Stewart comes in.

At 37, he meets with men every day in his vintage 1940’s barber chair.

As a licensed barber, he recognizes what works for different face shapes, body shapes, and personalities.  The simple goal in grooming and style is, “be authentically YOU. ”

I met up with Kyle at GENTS on Pine Street in Lakeland, FL to interview for EP 10 of my podcast, “Grooming Tips for Dudes.”  I am super excited to have Kyle co-host with me.

In a separate post, Kyle will also be sharing his expertise on men’s colognes, suited to your personal style.  He own’s over 60 brands as of this writing.

LINKS for both the Podcast and Choosing the Right Scent are below!

Alongside Podcast EP10, I’m releasing this article to share some of my favorite grooming products.

Good grooming starts with good products – plus – the aforementioned passing on of grooming rituals.

I’m not Parker York Smith, but hopefully you’ll find some great affordable products – and – a few tips here that will spark your interest, get you on the road to great self care, or enhance what you’ve already go going!

Here are my Top Picks!

Clean Body

A clean body starts with a quality body wash that fits your style.

If you wear cologne, choose a body wash that’s not too overpowering.

The CREMO Brand is known for high quality and amazing packaging.  A little goes a long way.  They offer coordinating deodorants, shampoos, and body wipes.

I am trying out Cremo Citrus and Mint Leaf for the first time this week.

Awesome for Spring and Summer!

Really enjoy Harry’s body washes as well – Target.

Every Man Jack Citrus just might rank as my all time FAV body wash.

Love the light scrub included in the product.

Update May 2022:
Trying this new CREMO body wash out this month…  rich, warm, amber scent:

Stay off the Rag

Wash clothes are OK.

But they can hold bacteria while they hang in the shower.

I use a loofah.  Switch out your loofa every 3-4 weeks¹ as loofah’s eventually collect bacteria too.  It will last longer if you thoroughly rinse the loofah and air dry it.

A high quality brush will get at those hard to reach places on your back.

Clean Hair

We have an unlimited number of shampoos out there.

I’m only including one.  I’ve used it for quite some time.

I experimented with many, more expensive brands, but Target’s Goodfellow & Co simply does the trick. So I keep coming back.

Not all dudes need conditioner.  I have Cherokee in my genes, so my hair is pretty stiff – my hair stylist in my 20’s called it “oriental white” hair because my hair grows perpendicular to my scalp LOL.

This was back when it was no big deal to discuss the actual differences in races without being decried ‘racist’ haha.

I condition daily.

I have used Tea Tree as well – not pictured – but that is a descent product if your hair is oily or gets pretty dirty on your job or recreation activities.

Shaving

A few years back, I switched to shaving in the shower.

The steam helps make your beard lift out from the skin, helps your shave cream do it’s job, and it easy to clean up.

A good mirror is a must.

If you spend a little more on a quality shaving product, you will notice the difference!  Your face and neck will thank you.

You can probably tell what brand I am biased towards.  I’ve been shaving 40 years.  There’s just nothing better than Cremo.

Following the directions matters.

If you just can’t get away from the can, Nivea was my previous favorite before I switched to Cremo Tubes.

Nivea has some great affordable products for men, and their post-shave lotion is still my #1 favorite.

A Cut Above

I’ve tried all the famous and not so famous razors.

Dollar Shave.

Harry’s.

Gillette.

Shick.

Last year, I ventured over to Defender because I liked the idea of the blades being far apart.

My 5 blade razors always seemed to clog easily.  I also realized all those blades scrape against your skin too – and – while I was skeptical about Defender’s 3 blade system at first, now I wouldn’t go back.

They mail a set of 4 as often as desired.

Cancel at anytime, or skip a month.

I absolutely love 3 blades instead of 5.

Some guys use electric razors, but I have a stubborn beard.  Sorry I can’t comment on any electrics.

I did make a COVID purchase for electric trimmers…

Forest Fire

I am not even sure how to express my dismay at the napes of some dudes.

Like a forest.

I know it’s not my business.

It’s just a MONK moment.

The women in the background are discussing his disgusting neck.

Don’t misunderstand.  I’m all for hairy.

Heck, I’m hairy.  It’s just that there are places hair is better removed.

In my opinion, the back of the neck (and front neck too if your beard is short) is one of those places.

Trimming is Easy

Thanks to Amazon!

Ask your barber or stylist to trim your neck.

Between visits, you can train yourself to use two mirrors and trim your own neck with trimmers or your razor.

It seems weird at first, but once you get the hang of it, it works.

Don’t be like me and try to take the short cut of not using he second mirror.

You will always cut too high and you will cut crooked LOL.

Ask me how I know.

I found this Remington that is adjustable – no need to change out plastic guards.

I flick to “2” on my beard (very short) and “5” on the sides of my head between visits to the barber.

 

Be Nosey. And Eerie.

Or maybe Eary.

Depending on your genes, as you age, annoying hairs will begin growing out of your nose, ear drums, and ear lobes.

My ear and nose hair trimmer is easy to use and gentle on the ear drums too.

Use care for sure!

Some brands have a light which can help too.

 

The expression on this dude’s face made me laugh, not sure why.

Who teaches anyone else how to trim nose and ear hair?

Only Mark LOL.

That makes me laugh too, although it simultaneously makes me sad.

Step in and do it, Dads.  And Mentors.

It’s the Pits

The marketers might insist the label says, “24 Hour Protection” but I wouldn’t bet my life on that.

Tag lines like “Twenty six percent bigger” seems to make headlines too.  Only a guy would think that up.

Avoid antiperspirants and products with aluminum.  After the build up in your pores, over time, antiperspirants actually cause your body to sweat more.

I use only a deodorant that is opaque or clear.

In 2009, when the wet pit stains showed on my cool Keyboard Player Shirt for 12,000 people, I took the advice of a friend, Ian Casler, who was the Monitor Engineer.   His advice was to only use Deodorants only (clear compound).

My wet pit stains disappeared within a month after switching.  I actually stay drier using deodorant rather than antiperspirants.

If you’ve never tried the next generation of Old Spice products, they are not your grand father’s Old Spice products.

While entry level, they work and smell pretty darn good for the money.

Dove, while not known for the manly image, is still my favorite.  It just works and doesn’t over power.

Ever smell that guy and your first though is, “some cheap deodorant?”  I axed Axe for that very reason.

Dove is elegant, subtle, and fresh.

Why Opaque?

Opaque or clear compounds don’t damage your clothing.

Opaque compounds can also be applied to other parts of your body, like your chest, back, and your nether parts.

For example, I sweat quite a bit around my chest and lower back.  I apply deodorant in these areas as well

I’m trying out a new product and a new favorite, Harry’s Deodorant.

The Fig scent is amazing, although a little stronger than what I would normally wear, it is both manly and pleasant.  Harry’s offers other scents as well.

 

 

Freshening Up Mid Day

Need to freshen up a bit but can’t shower at the moment?

Last year, I tried body wipes for the first time.

It’s a great way to freshen up at lunch, or after going for a walk  – when you come in smelling like the out of doors, but you don’t quite need to shower yet.

According to the directions below, you may never need to bathe again, LOL.

I am also a big proponent of freshening up your face mid day, and again before bed.

Not with soap!

Your Face is the Place

Of course hair matters, but people make contact with your eyes and face first.

With a little thought, you can keep your face both clean, and moisturized through the day.

I’ve used all the leading men’s face washes.  Dove is simple, gentle, smells great, goes on well, and rinses easily.

Dove also has moisturizers built in.

Avoid soap on your face.

Why is a face wash better then soap?  Soap dries.  Dry skin cracks. Cracks age you.

I have tried a number a face scrubs as well.

Some, I used once and took back to the store – or  – tossed in the trash haha.

Face scrubs clean deeper than face washes.  My skin is oily, and even then, I limit the face scrub to once per day, or every other day.

Why a Face Scrub?

The scrub removes dead skin cells that a face wash can miss.

Update May 2022:
Really liking Harry’s new Exfoliating Face Scrub!  Get out those excess summer oils.

Face Scrub works best for me immediately after I shave – again – to remove those dead skin cells – oils.

Masks Required for Entry

Well. Not really.

But masks just aren’t for COVID. Or Women.  Real men care about their skin too.

TIP: Avoid your Eyes.

This includes keeping the rinse water out of your eyes as well.

Yeah.

I actually do use these products.

A real consumer.

Not paid.

This picture makes me laugh too.  Most you have never seen a 50 something with a mud mask LOL.

Again, Cremo by far, is the best in my opinion.

Skin Care

I live in Florida.  Skin needs a great deal of care here near the equator.

Moisturized skin is happy skin.

Healthy.

Post shave and sometimes post face wash, I follow up with a simple moisturizer or after shave balm.

Nivea has the handle on quality face moisturizers for men on a budget.  Walmart or Target.

Another light post shave lotion is Ice Sport – but hard to find.

As I pointed out about Old Spice, Ice Sport is not your grandfather’s dark blue or green Aqua Velva.

It is both soothing and light, with a note of sweetness.

If you spend a little extra on a quality after shave and not the cheap ones, they double well for an “around the house” scent – when you just wanna feel fresh at home and with family.

Avoid the after shaves that smell like aftershaves from 1978, like the old style Aqua Velvas.  Ice Sport (above) is contemporary though – one of my favs.

A Cut Above

Shelling out for a well done hair cut makes your look.

People focus on our face first, and our hair and beard is big part of that.

When finances were tight, I did the $15 hair chain store cuts.  Heck, my daughter cut my hair for a couple of years.

But when finances permit, seek out a quality barber or hair stylist.

Ask around.

It’s worth it.

Check out my podcast with my Barber, Kyle Stewart – Grooming Tips for Dudes – link below!

Post Shower Hair Products

As Kyle talked about in our podcast on Grooming Tips, so many options exists on hair products – almost infinite – and – there are varied hair types of course.

So I’m simply posting my favorites.

They may not work for you.

Both of these gels are available at Target.

While gels work well for my hair type, I know many young men have leaned into Pomades and Clays.

I didn’t forget you.

Here are some that come recommended from young men in my Circle.

Of course, Cremo.  No, I’m not getting a kick back haha.

The following are available at GENTS Classic Cuts, in Lakeland, FL…

Beard

Beards are in.

Really in.

I had one for years as a newly wed.  Then when it started graying… I’m like, nope. shave that sucker.

(Again, I actually do use these products)

So….

I promised one of my children that when they supplied me with grand kids – I’d grow it back.

White beard and all LOL.  So here we are.

Kyle offers some amazing tips and knowledge on the Podcast (EP10) about beards, beard oils, and beard balms.

Again, ton’s of products – Cremo is the brand that worked best for me.  Since I already use a facial moisturizer, I normally stick with the beard wash and softner.

Additional Scents / Colognes

Check out Kyle’s amazing wealth of Knowledge in the article, Choosing the Right Scent – in the link below.   I learned so much!

Unlike Kyle, I don’t have 60 bottles 🙂

Here a 4 of my regulars:

Sung Homme for the cooler weeks, which is – well – like never here in Florida, so I admit, I do wear it in the summer.

It works for me.

Nivea’s Deep is technically a post-shave product, but I use it for daily wear, around the house, and work from home.

Tommy Summer, and Davidoff Cool Water Wave are great for warmer weather which again, is pretty much always here.

Hands, Elbows, Knees, Nails

It’s easy for busy young men to neglect dry hands.

Even knuckles, elbows and knees can use some care depending on your climate, and your activity.

Nourished skin keeps it from cracking.

The Nivea balm is intended for face, but I have found it to work well on hands, elbows, dry upper arms, and dry neck areas.

Nice light scent as well.

Some guys like their nail shorts – others let them grow.

Regardless of your preference,

Cleanliness is Next to Godliness

-Aunt Bee

Keep ’em clean and cut those pokey cuticals.

Your significant other will thank you.

Your work associates will thank you.

No Bunnies

My younger bro always called them poop bunnies.

Yeah, they’re not cool.  Toilet paper is not enough gentlemen.

If you have a bidet, great.  If not, Dude Wipes are here to save your butt.

We provided these in all 3 bathroom suites at our recent Fellow Mentors Summit and even gave some as prizes during a contest.

The winner was pooped after working so diligently to win said prize.  Butt why?

Equate works too!

Not to be crass, but for the purpose of helping those who, here to fore, have been unguided – you keep wiping until a wipe is white.  More than one may be needed.

Go for the flushable ones.

Room Smells

While we’re on the subject of poo, Poo-Pourri works reallly well.   Jamie insists on it.

You spray it before dropping your friends off at the pool.

The Citrus on Main is available at TJ Maxx.

Below is my favorite product for freshening fabric like your sofa, bed sheets, or a blanket that’s not quite ready for the wash.

TJ Maxx.

Courtesy Flush

When I was on tour, I taught the men in the band to practice Courtesy Flushes.  As soon as the Friends take a Dive, Pull that Handle gentlemen.

This practice kept peace when several dudes simultaneously shared a bathroom at any given pre-concert moment.

Clothing Refresher.

Ever have that shirt you wore for 3 or 4 hours – it’s not quite ready for the washer – you can easily wear it again, but you wanna just refresh it?

I’ve used Fabreeze Fabric to Go for years.  Spray it on your clothing item, or jacket and hang it back up.   I take it on trips.

TIP:  Fabric to Go is not a substitute for washing your Warriors and Scholars after a long day.

Getting Organized

When you start adding to your grooming regimen, the number of additional products might seem overwhelming.

Yet, each one has a purpose.

Jamie has the upper storage, so I am relegated to below the sink.  To stay organized, I used a system of baskets.

Some for storage, and two that I pull out daily for active use.

No… you don’t have to be as crazy organized as me.  I’m always overkill.  But, I know where everything is.  Nothing gets wasted.

And I can get to stuff easily.

The left basket is “active” – products I use daily.  The right basket are “back ups” and supplies for the future and for gifting.

In mentoring, I enjoy gifting quality products to young guys to help them get started.

Active Basket

 

Extra Supplies / Storage / Gifts

 

Optical and Travel

I am always ready to travel at a moment’s notice if needed – pre-supplied for TSA requirements.

Trimmers / Hair / Ears / Nose/ Nails

Be inspired.  Use only the organizational ideas that work for you.

 

Oh yeah. Your Mouth.

Automated toothbrushes are the bomb.

And the WaterPik device really does get that crabmeat out that said electric toothbrush and half-assed flossing missed.

Guilty.

 

Chocolate

Wait.

Chocolate?

How did chocolate get in there??

That’s because dark chocolate is the best form of edible self care.  No more than 2 squares per day haha.

I’m proud of you if you made it this far to the chocolate.

Downtime

Last but not least.

My very favorite self care product is not a product.

It’s a choice.

Me and My TREK on Harbour Island

If you are working too much, and too busy volunteering for honorable causes to choose Downtime, your marriage will fail, your children will grow up to hate you, and you will die young.

Rich maybe.  But young.

Think I’m overstating it’s importance?  I’ve seen some tragedies in 37 years of Mentoring.

In 2051, your 61 year old self will thank your 31 year old self.

Make the choice and nourish the habit of Downtime.

Today.