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🎙Podcast EP8 is Out! Overcoming Anxiety

|  Mark Edward  |

Had Anxiety?

If so, you’re not the only one.

It’s been a year!

In the title “Overcoming Anxiety” – the word, “Overcoming” indicates that a process is “ongoing.”    In the Present.

It’s not a one day, one month, or one year conquering.  More than ever, young men with whom I journey are talking to me about Anxiety.  

Today, in Podcast Episode 8, firefighter, musician, and young father, Tanner Blake William Pabst, opens up about his challenges with Anxiety.

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🎙Podcast EP7 is Out! Anchors: Stress, Rest, and your Downtime Go Tos

|  Mark Edward  |

TWENTY twenty has been a bit extra.

Exhausting.  Stressful.

How’s your Down Time?

The “Big Three” hurdles I face in mentoring young men are Isolation, Self Loathing, and Sexual Shame.

If I was to add a 4th, it would be REST – or lack of rest – for Millenials and NetGens.

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Anchors: Stress. Rest. And Your Downtime “Go Tos”

|  Mark Edward  |
This Article is Related Reading for Podcast EP7

2020.

The craziest year.  

 

I’ve invested 37 years helping guys “remove masks.”  Now – they’re back!

Social distancing, 6 feet apart, safer at home, in this together, self-quarantine, asymptomatic… #wearthedamnmask…

Did we even know these phrases in January of 2020?

Back at Christmas, would we have imagined coffee-shop-selfies like one this?

Racial Reconciliation.  Inflammatory Politics.  Awakening to the reality of white privilege. 

The longing – not simply for equality – but equity and justice as a person of color.

So much to process.

Young men tell me regularly – they are tired – they don’t feel rested.  Or they don’t take enough time to fully rest.  

They don’t have down time.  No healthy unplugged de-stressors.

(Stock Free Images)

Unplugged?

Yes – with the power button OFF.

Healthy?

Because, well –  Amazon spending binges, porning out, excessive alcohol or drugs – in the attempt to cope…

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ShorTTake: Shut Up

|  Mark Edward  |

 ShorTTake™

ShorTTakes™ can be read in 3 minutes.  Or less.

For a Millenial trapped in a Baby Boomer Dad Bod, I’d like to think I’m genuinely a good listener.  

Auditory musicians. We hear between the lines. We don’t forget stuff.

I listen for a living as a Claims Performance Analyst at the office. Well – at Work from Home – haha.  I listen most every day of the week as I mentor young men in my Circle.

I look them in the eye and I’m not afraid to talk about anything.   There’s nothing too shocking to hear.

 

True Listening — not Instagram Selfie Frozen Smile Listening — is a learned skill that we men can develop and sharpen. Even you “Type A” men, God love you.

BUT.

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🎙Podcast EP6 is Out! Transforming from Self Loathing to Self Loving

|  Mark Edward  |

Are Your Comfortable in Your Own Skin?

Many of the guys with whom I journey, have, at some point, struggled with Self Loathing.

Hating something about them self.

Besides Isolation and Sexual Shame – Self Loathing is one of the Big Three hurdles I face in mentoring young men.

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🎙Podcast EP4 is Out! Parenting Toddlers

|  Mark Edward  |

It can be overwhelming to parent 1 toddler. What about 4?

Daniel Christopher Deal, in my Circle for 8 years, can definitely answer that… he has four, 8 and under!

More than half the guys that follow IRT are married. Many of you have small children.

Even if you’re a Net Gen, and you don’t yet have kids, you are going to identify with Daniel and his candor and honesty about parenting, handling anger, sibling rivalry, discipline, still dating your spouse, keeping sex alive, finding time alone, and other premium young dad hacks. Before you know it – you may be here!

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The State of Mentoring 2019. A 3 minute Look Back.

|  Mark Edward  |

 ShorTTake™

ShorTTakes™ can be read in 3 minutes.  Or less.

It was my honor and joy to journey with you in 2019.

This year, guys entered my Circle born in 2000!

And, while many of you are enjoying your 20’s and 30’s, I stepped into my 37th year of Mentoring in 2019.

This year was more fruitful than ever.  Jamie and I witnessed profound growth in the spirits, wills, and emotions of young men – in greater measures than before.

Here’s a quick look back:

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An Open Letter About Our Separation and Restoration

|  Mark Edward  |

:: The Perfect Storm ::
October 2019

It may come as a shock to some, but Jamie and I were separated during much of 2018.  

As it began to unfold, we shared our separation with only a handful of close confidants.

While most would not be as transparent with their private lives as we are about to be, Jamie and I have mutually decided to share openly – the pain and the joy of this part of our journey. 

And the events that brought us to it.

Davis Islands – Tampa Bay

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So You’re a New Dad!

| Mark Edward |

Seven young men in my active Circle became Dads last year.

I guess some of our talks on healthy sex and happiness in the bedroom paid off, LOL.

Out of the 7, I wonder who “won?”  The Girls?  Or the Boys?

I’ve invited a few of those young men to co-write this article with me.

I asked them 3 simple questions.

Jose, Dayma, and “Emma”
Jose Jesus Romero has been in my Circle since October of 2015.

1. What was / is your biggest fear or challenge about the pregnancy and first year?

2. How did you overcome those fears/challenges?

3. What has been your greatest joy thus far?

Jose and Emma

Jose is one of the kindest young men
with whom I have ever journeyed.
Kindness is a good trait for Fatherhood!

Ready?

GO!!

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Journaling: Open Your Soul to Yourself. Open Your Soul to Your God.

|  Mark Edward  |
Updated 2024

Forty-seven years ago this week, I began Journaling.

The inspiration came from one of my youth pastors.  He said,

Mark, you should really think about journaling.  God will speak to you over months and years.  It will change your life…”

As an awkward, melancholy, musically creative teen, I took the suggestion seriously.   

(First Cover Page – January 3, 1977)

 

I mark my Journey and Legacy as much by the date January 3, as I do my own birthday.

Did you know journaling reduces anxiety?

How did Journaling profoundly change my life?

How can it profoundly change yours?

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The “M” Word | Part Two

|   Mark Edward   |

Should Married Guys Drain the Crane?

I said it before in The M Word  | Part One:  It’s the question guys ask me most often.  

It usually goes something like this:  

“Um… Mark, can I ask you something personal?”  (Temporary pause)  “About uh, you know… jacking off – well, you know – masturbation. Is it OK?”  

Other Common Questions Include:

  • “What is normal?”
  • “How often is too often?”
  • “How do I talk to my wife about this?”
  • “What about porn?” 

 

Particularly in the past year, with the wives of 7 young men in my Circle expecting a child, I’ve received a number of questions from the married men in my Circle about navigating solo relief – during pregnancy.  

 

“Why is Masturbation Even a Thing, if I’m Married?”

Here’s what young men in my Circle tell me:

They’re working too many hours. 

Starting businesses.

They have pregnant wives.  Three toddlers.  Transporting middle school kids around the city nightly.

They’re finding life is non-stop, neck-breaking busy.  Often due to over-commitments to “important” causes.  

With less and less time for sex.

We first wrote on this topic here:  The “M” Word | Part One 

You might benefit from checking out Part One too.  Especially the section on “The Burn.”

The real question is not, “Should married guys jack off?” as much as it is, “do married guys jack off?”

And, gentlemen, the answer to the latter is…

ShorTTake: Your Life Code

|  Mark Edward  |

 ShorTTake™

ShorTTakes™ can be read in 3 minutes.  Or less.

Twenty years ago, one of my mentors drilled into me the importance of writing things down.  Documenting.

With a smile, she would firmly say,

If it’s not in writing, it doesn’t exist.

She?  Yes, she.

Um, can a man have women who mentor him?  

Yes, indeed. 

It’s not as common, and it’s a completely different transfer of wisdom. 

Gentlemen, if we are wise, we will learn from the other gender along side our male mentors.

(Pressmaster Storyblock)

In 1998, Mrs. Conners was the President of a data firm and as Call Center Director, I reported to her.

I learned a great deal from her.  I put that nugget of wisdom – putting things in writing –  into practice in the business world, with my family, as a musician, and most of all, in my daily personal life.

Not long after I left the company, I wrote down my first “Life Code.”

What is a Life Code?

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