|  Mark Edward  |

You may have noticed I’ve been posting (and emailing you) less frequently over the last few months. 

I wanted to share my thought process with you on this decision.

Young men are barraged and saturated with nonstop social media.  Never ending slickly crafted algorithms read our thumbs, draw us in, and keep us swiping.

Facebook – where the average American spends 58 minutes per day, or 325 hours a year, or 13.5 days of their life annually – is becoming passé for some younger men (including me, although I’m not “younger” haha) – and frankly, I don’t miss it.

It seems as this decade began, many social media friends became political pundits and infection disease experts.  It was overwhelming.

But it’s not FB that dominates most young men.

Clicked “Read More?”  CONTINUE HERE:

IG, TikTok, Snapchat, YouTube, WhatsApp, Telegram, and others captivate the eyes, minds, and hands of Gen Zs and Millenials.

The average US adult spends 3 hours and 43 minutes a day on their mobile devices.

Humans check their phones an average of 58 times daily.

It is my belief that The Glowing Rectangle offers a false sense of connection while taking time away from face-to-face engagements with family, friends and co-workers.

This sense of loss is expressed to me on regular basis from those in my Mentoring Circles, to the point where several have shut down their FB, IG, TT and Snapchat temporarily, or permanently – and have been the happier for it.

I’m Not Even a Mother but
This Makes me Cringe
(📷 I-stock)

Not much bonding going on here.

I also imagine that some toddlers believe The Glowing Rectangle is a permanent part of their parents’ bodies. A Borg like extension of their mommy’s or daddy’s hand.

It must contain secret and important information.

More important than them.

(📷 Jamie Grill / Getty Images)

Not to mention that social media saturation takes away from self-care time.

Yes.

You, caring for you.

So as a mentor and friend, I find my self not wanting to add to this saturation. This Flood.

Yet, because I don’t post daily, let alone 5 times daily, and I don’t hashtag every post with numerous hash tags, the aforementioned slick algorithms push my posts to the bottom of your feed.

As you may have heard me say on the Podcast, I’d Rather Talk™ has never been about “likes.” I literally do not care.  So there’s that.

Back to Time:

Time is more valuable than money.

You can always make more money, but you never get more time.

Once time is gone.  It is gone.

Thus, by me posting less, I will save you the time of jamming a quote or tip into your already saturated eyeballs, and save me the time of creating said posts which in turn, will allow those energies to go for what I do best:

One on One mentoring; now in its 38th year, and Podcasting, now in its 3rd season.

I don’t podcast on a strict schedule.  I work FT and I am a PT care giver.

I record and produce what comes up in my heart when I have the time, on topics you ask about.

In 2022, I have 4 weekly scheduled mentoring meetings that range from 1 to 2 hours, and 1 BI-weekly scheduled meeting.

Regular meetings yield so much growth and fruit!

There are always unscheduled conversations which I welcome and embrace, usually with 7 to 10 guys every day.

Why?

As mentors, we must meet met men at the moment of their interest (or crisis), whenever possible, not a week later.

This philosophy is why I send and receive 4,000 to 5,000 texts, IMs and DMs monthly.

Because, unless I’m working or hanging with my bride or kids, there are daily Life Conversations to be had – mostly listening – which, as you know, is 80% of Mentoring.

This is not to say I will never post.

There is power in sharing personal experiences and pics of my family life now and then – and occasionally a nugget from the 12 categories men ask me about the most.

I will simply post less.

I stopped trying to keep up with the algorithms some time ago.

If it’s not enough for you, there are already 1,821 pics and graphics on my IG for your viewing pleasure, mostly, helpful topics for dudes.

(Sample Screen Time – Not Mine BTW)

I do not wish to project guilt or shame on anyone who has mucho pantalla hora.

I am not the screen police.

Instead, I would encourage each of you as a mentor and friend to self-evaluate.

Ask yourself a simple question:

“Why am I reaching in to my pocket for my phone?”

You may find that often there is not a reason.

I don’t smoke, but it’s like in 1975 when my granddad reached for a cigarette simply because the other men in the barbershop are puffing away.

Even though he just finished one in his Thunderbird, 3 minutes before entering the shop.

He died of Emphysema at age 69, BTW.  Too young.

You have yours out.  So I’ll pull mine out.

Wait.  As soon as I typed that I was like… awkward.  You know you smirked too 🤣.  Sorry, my dudes.  The male brain and how we are wired is just so weird.  So. Male.  So Junior-High.

Phones!  You have yours out, so naturally, I’ll get mine out.  To fit in.

Or is it so I don’t have to interact with you?

I’ll look busy.

Undistracted Listening is an Art we Have Lost.

I still make it a habit to literally lay my phone down when someone is in my home speaking to me, especially my wife.   She appreciates it.

And out and about, it can stay in my pocket. I’m just not that important.

Real People Deserve Real Undistracted Attention.

Ok, so other questions one might ask are:

“Why am I posting this? What is my motive?

What are my expectations after this post?”

More and more, I am recognizing that my thoughts, self-worth, happiness, and time management, are all healthier when I stop comparing myself with the Perfect Lives of the Perfect Influencers of IG, TikTok, and YouTube.

Once you get 25K Subscribers.  Or 500K followers.

They aren’t real relationships.

Can you count on them when you are down?

They think you are smart and sexy today.  But you put on weight and get old in a flash.  A million followers today. A has been after a few sleeps.

Then what?

You can buy more followers!

Additional fakeness at a cost.

Crazes and trends are temporary.

Lava flows red hot, but eventually, lava becomes molten rock.

I turn my phone off regularly.

“Oh, I couldn’t do that.”

I lived 36 years without a cell phone.  I lived 45 years without the internet in my pocket.

It actually can be done.

What you meant to say was,

“I won’t do that.”

The Glowing Rectangle Has its Place.

It is a tool. Like a telescope or magnifying glass it can bring insight.

It can also become the means for hurting yourself.  Chipping away at your self esteem through non stop comparison.

Separating you from real friends and real life, there by hurting others as well.

It can make us laugh, bring us tunes, facts, games, fun, photos, and news.

Even news needs its limits.

Most of what happens in the daily news feed, we can not change.  It is beyond our sphere of influence.

The negativity of national and world events can be depressing.

Is there even a factual news organization out there anymore?

Not sensational opinions and conspiracy theory promoters, pillow salesmen, or Tele prophets.

Not “news” from FB Pages.

Throwing this in for free, but 1440 News in my daily email has been refreshingly free of opinion.  Simply:  “Here’s what happened.”

Neither am I Against Social Media.

Again, a tool.  It can connect us.

Albeit, one dimensionally.  From a distance.

Like anything that triggers the senses, it can be addictive.

Denial is a powerful mechanism.

We often believe we are in a good place, when in fact, we are not.

The challenge is recognizing our own extremisms in the mirror.  Then being wiling to change.  To see something in a different light.

Then taking those steps to change.

One of those steps for me was in 2021.

By eliminating FB, I took back 1,300 hours of my life;  54, full 24 hour days.

I’m not giving that up again.

I’ll say it once more:  We can always earn more money.

But we never get more time.

Once time is gone.  It’s gone.

Time is a Luxury.

Time is more valuable than money.

Tranquility.

Peace.

Meaningful Relationships.

Self-Care.

Meditation.

Prayer.

Meals.

Touch.

Sex.

Sleep.

Growth.

Progress.

Change.

The best space for these to occur naturally and heartily, is when Social Media is Muted.

Off.

Happy 2022, Gentlemen.

You Got This.